June 12, 2024


#ThursdayThoughts – I CAN EAT WHATEVER I WANT

3 min read


This picture was taken on my birthday 2015 This cake was soo good!
I can eat whatever I want. Don’t question me about it either!  I can eat whatever I want, just because I lost weight.  I can eat whatever I want, I know what I’m doing.

EATThe only thing that is right about this post is the picture that you see above.  This thought process has gotten me in a lot of trouble.  I get in my flavor whore moments and like Kanye West says, “You can’t tell me nothing.”  I feel justified because I lost weight.  Because of the weight loss I think I’m invincible to weight gain.  I have all that arrogance until one day I look in the mirror then my stomach is poking out.  I’m like…oh no!

My biggest fear of losing weight is gaining it back.  I’ve gotten rid of too many clothes to go back to wearing triple extra-large shirts.  This fear, makes me go back to the drawing board and do what I do best.  Remove solids, go on all liquids, and work like crazy in the gym for about a month straight (Current situation Day 12).  After a month is up, I come up for air, look in the mirror and my body is looking right again.  Disobedience is embedded in our DNA.  With that being said, I turn to back to my hard-headed ways.

I think I have it down packed because I feel I know what I’m doing.  I start justifying why I need this sugar, or this amount of bread, or this amount of mashed potatoes.  Just stupid stuff.  After a few weeks of justifying my wrong to make me feel good of the bad stuff that I eat, I walk by that mirror again, see that belly sticking out, then I diet.

It’s a yo-yo effect that some say is unhealthy.  I get it.  It’s a lifestyle change over all.  I just wish I could eat whatever I wanted, without all that negative effects.  I believe that’s a wish among all of us.  The fact of the matter is I CAN NOT eat whatever I want.  If I have a little bit of the wrong thing, I’m like a gremlin that eats after midnight.  I go crazy.  The whole attitude that I have when people ask me why I’m eating a cookie, or two, or ten…DON’T QUESTION ME ABOUT IT…gotta stop.

We all have our moments where we want to indulge.  I’m not saying you can’t.  For me, my indulgences, or cheat days turn into a cheat month.  One thing that I am still adjusting to after my weight loss is how I force feed myself because I am full a lot.  I still drink a lot of liquids when I am eating solids.  I’m constantly full.  I try to tell myself I need to eat something solid, when the reality of it is, I’m just full.  There lies my excuse.  Oh, I didn’t eat so now I can eat everything in sight.  No, it doesn’t work like that.  Once I’m full, that’s it.  It’s easier said (typed) than done.

To get to the next level of total fitness where I want my body to be, is going to take much more discipline.  Am I ready for it?  I could type yes as a proclamation of doing it, but I’d rather my actions show it than words.  I’m going to leave you with some of my quick workout clips that I filmed this week.

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6 thoughts on “#ThursdayThoughts – I CAN EAT WHATEVER I WANT

  1. Yes yes yes!!! That fear of gaining the weight back once you lost it consumes my life. Justifying the binge only to purge. Walking past the mirror checking my waistline like damnit.. Why can’t this cycle ever end?! I want cake! I haven’t had cake since my last birthday so I’ll eat the whole thing .. FML ! Trying to find the balance ( the effort to having both) between what you want and what you need is a pain in the ass. When I was bigger.. I definitely wasn’t obsessing over the scale, how my clothes, how many scoops of Mac n cheese I had , how much weight I gained… Sometimes I think life was easier. But of course.. Once I made the decision to alter my reality … Lawdddd the gift and the curse lol Right now… I’m coming out of my food coma of 3 weeks with no activity. I gave myself a break .. And when I say break.. I mean chinese good like every other night .. Deli sandwiches, bags of chips , pizza.. McDonald’s fries .. And now … DAMAGE control “Summer’s coming ) I’m feeling like I need to explore this self sabotage thing .. Anyway lol– great post! I feel you 100% and glad I’m not alone !

  2. This post came right on time!!! It is very true and we all fall in this cycle…but when we know what to look for we can and will have a better chance at crushing that little gremlin saying…come on you did a good job….it won’t hurt you…you can eat whatever you want…u can just exercise more…NOT LISTENING…two chops to the neck to the gremlin and keep it moving!!! We can choose to either talk ourselves into it or out of it. Thanks for always being so transparent…be blessed.

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