I NEED TO GET OVER THIS FEELING

The stresses of life has this fog filling my head that if I don’t reel it in, my clients will get this bad energy.  They don’t deserve that at all.  One thing that has never failed, when I need to get over this feeling, is working out.  All I need to do is workout so hopefully I’ll feel better.

It’s an early Tuesday November morning.  I’m waking up, heart racing, reaching over to my night stand to shut off my blaring 5am alarm on my phone.  “What day is it? What time is my first client?  Oh snap my payment is due for my photo condenser on my website.”  

All of these thoughts are racing in my head before I put two feet on the ground.  As I lay here thinking how great it would be to go back to sleep for a few minutes, I know for sure it will turn into an hour.  I told myself the night before I would workout in the morning, so I hop on out of bed and grab my phones.

I’m disappointed after looking at my phone to see there’s no notification from PayPal or Cashapp for money received. My mother had this saying, “I owe, I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.”  That’s how I feel at the moment.  I let out a big sigh, as I head downstairs to get the coffee started.  I have bills to pay, but no deposits were made, so off to work I go.  Since I work from home mostly, let’s get this day started.    The sounds that are coming from my right knee as I step down the stairs resembles rice krispies.  Snap, Crackle, and Pop.

What is it now?  If it’s not one thing it’s something else daily.  It seems it’s always something new that my body is telling me to look into.  I make it down stairs to the main level to head towards the kitchen pantry.  On a brighter note I have two options to choose from for my coffee.  Donut Shop with espresso or Hawaiin Hazelnut.  I pick the Hawaiian hazelnut since I just bought some from Sam’s yesterday.

While the coffee is brewing I head downstairs to my gym.  I turn the lights on to assess what I need to straighten up before I get this day started.  My first client isn’t until 10am, but that’s at Gold’s Gym so I have plenty of time to myself down here.

As I look around my gym I still have this depressing fog over my head.  The feeling is overwhelming that I immediately thank God for blessing me with this provision.  There are times when I can be so caught up on what I don’t have that I don’t appreciate what I do have, even when it’s starring right in my face.  I gotta get rid of this funky attitude before I leave this house.

I’m a firm believe in checking energy before I  leave the house.  I think of the possibilities of something negative happening while I’m driving because my mind is focused on the negative that I’ll attract negative while driving.  That could look like a car accident on my part or someone else because I’m thinking negative.  This is not to say those who are in car accidents are thinking negatively, I’m just telling you how I process things.

I make my way back upstairs to grab a cup of coffee that just finished brewing.  The sweet smell of the hazelnut coffee feels the air.  It sends chills down the back of my neck in excitement.  The smell of coffee signals that everything is going to be alright by the time I finish the first cup.

As I’m at the dining room table sipping coffee, I’m scrolling on facebook, then switching to instagram, then switching to twitter, then linkedin all to see I am without any significant messages.  I’ve been sending cold messages to people I feel would be a great fit to be the next guest on my podcast.  None of them have responded…yet.  I feel some type of way about that, but it is still early, people operate on their own time, so move on until then.

This coffee cup is empty and I still feel the same.  The lack of responses sure doesn’t help.  I’m overthinking at this point.  I need to get this checked now.

Since the coffee didn’t do the trick, I head back downstairs to the gym as I made the promise to myself the day before that I would workout.  Honoring my word, especially to myself has been a focal point lately.  If I say I’m going to do something, then I need to do it.  I have no clue what type of workout I’m going to do, but I’m going to put on my headphones, play some music, and see where the it will take me.

I love using this tabata workout timer.  I have it set for 30 seconds of work then 10 seconds of rest.  I use this same timer for majority of my client sessions.  It keeps the workout structured and efficient.  As I start the timer, the first block of time is dedicated to the warm up.  I’m about 6 rounds into the warm up and my eyes begin to brighten.  Of course I have the tv on, catching up to last nights NBA highlights on youtube.

By the time I’m done with the warm up I have the next block of workouts in mind.  I move onto the stationary bike, level 12 for about 8 minutes.  Each one of these blocks is about 8 minutes.  I like cardio before weights because it gets my breathing regulated before I hit the weights.  In my headphones I have the new Nas album, King Disease 3 playing.  It’s been on repeat since my cousin sent it to me a few days ago.  As I’m on this bike ride I begin to formulate and finalize what exercises I’ll do in the next block.

Now that the bike ride is over I have exactly 60 seconds to set up for the next block.  I already know what I’m doing because I visualized it.  I pull the bench out, turn on the treadmill to speed 5.0, and set the weights on the pulley system. As the timer beeps three times, it signals to get ready, and when it says LETS GO, I begin leg raises on the bench.  I haven’t worked my core in a while but this feel good.  I execute this for 30 seconds then move on to cable side bends with the 10 seconds I have to get to the next station.  Again, 30 seconds on my left, 10 seconds of rest, then 30 seconds on my right.  Once I finish those two exercises I move on to the treadmill to jog on speed 5.0 for 30 seconds.

I haven’t ran in quite some time due to some tightness in my right hamstring.  This could possibly explain the rice krispies sound in that knee from earlier.  I do these 4 exercises for a total of 3 rounds until my 1 minute rest.  By the time I’m done with this, I already know what I’m going to do for the next block.

I continue this method of creating the next block of exercises while executing current exercises in real time until I’ve finished the work out.  By the time I’m done with the workout, 45 minutes have passed and I’ve written a new workout routine that I can save to program for my clients.

I feel better.  I have a pep in my step.  My thoughts are clearer.  I have this sense of calmness over me that I’ve been missing.  That’s all I had to do?  Is workout?  The answer is yes!  Even I forget this simple method of self care.  It’s a reminder of how I have to take care of me before I take care of someone else.

If my attitude is not in check, then chances are whoever I am around may feel that same negative energy.  The best thing I can do to keep that in check is workout.  That’s all I can control in the moment.  Those stresses of life will be there.  For how long?  Who knows?  I can only control it so much, but what I can control 100%, is my attitude.