#SUNDAYCONFESSIONS 10-15-17

MY WORLD RIGHT NOW
LIFE AS A BLOGGER

I HAVE A DREAM
I have an experience that I would love to share with everyone. I have information that I believe would be valuable to you. This recipe right here, oh my goodness, it tastes so good! I can’t wait to show you how I made it so you can try it yourself. I know when they see this, they’re going to love it! This is the thought process of a blogger like myself. Always tinkering in my head in what life experience I should share with you that could possibly benefit you.

One of the first steps is what I listed above which is the conception of the idea. The second phase is how do I want to express this idea. Would it be in words or video? Maybe both? ?.

I go through these steps and carve out time to make this happen. I’ve written the blog or shot and edited the video, now it’s time to post. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I’m not sure how you will receive it. All I can do is wait to see what type of response I will get.

It’s now everywhere on social media. YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Google Plus, Tumblr, you know, all the places where everyone is at. While I’m at let me post in the fitness, blogger, food/nutrition, juicing groups as well on Facebook and Google plus. I just know this post is going to hit and spread like wildfire.

24 hours go by. I check my stats on my blog for traffic and I see this.

HOLDING BACK MY INNER KANYE
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMkub7qjX-A/
These are not the results I hoped for. At this point I’m questioning everything. What did I do wrong? Did I post too early? Did I post too late? Did I not write a headline that was catchy? Was this useless information to them? Did I use the right featured image? Why am I doing this? Am I wasting my time? How are these other bloggers getting all this traffic to their site? How are they generating income to do this full time? Do I give it more time? Did anyone share this post? What’s going to be my next blog post?

This is the routine I’ve been going through for almost two years now. I’m still learning this whole blogging world and it’s ever changing. There’s a lot of effort that goes into all of this. At times, I don’t see the reciprocation of it. I’ve been blessed with a lot of opportunities since this blog launched. My triumphs I’ve shared with you.

QUESTIONING WHAT’S THE PURPOSE OF DOING THIS?
I know, just like anything, you have to put the work in and it will take time. I’m not going to lie to you, everything is in question now. I haven’t been “feeling it” lately. When I say “it”, I’m referring to this, blogging. Putting my life on display has taken its toll. Situations in my personal life did not pan out the way I thought. Keeping up with my physique has taken a dive. Seems everything is out of wack.

I’m not blaming you or anything like that, it’s just I use to be excited about creating content, but at this moment I’m not. Everything is a factor into my current state of thinking. The entire conception of this blog was for you, people who had questions on how I lost weight, and how i could help them. I was honored that so many of you wanted to know about me.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BZqgAhoBuDZ/

I NEED TO TAKE A STEP BACK
The closest people who really know me, know that I didn’t get into it to boast, or broadcast what I’m doing like it’s so special. I’ve always been a behind the scenes type of person. Over the past few years I’ve had to adjust to put myself in the spotlight. It has it’s up moments as well as the downs. I’ve taken every situation as learning experiences. I’ve been feeling the need to back away of late. I feel I’m putting myself out there too much which the core of who I am, never agreed with.

THE 400 POUND STILL LIVES WITHIN ME
It took me so long to get use to a camera. The guy who was once over 400 pounds, I stayed away from taking many pictures. This is why you don’t see too many pictures of me being that weight.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BTtf8y4jvqN/
When it came time to take pics, I removed myself from the scene. After losing the weight, that part of me was still embedded. Being reclusive is naturally part of my personality. This blog gave me a shot to change, grow, and by helping others, help me come out of my shell. As of late, I just feel the need to go back to my shell and stay to myself. It’s ironic because I am writing this post, expressing my feelings with you. I am being transparent as much I can so there is progress.

FUTURE OF THIS BLOG
I am not shutting this blog down. I’m not sure if you got that vibe by reading this so far. It’s like I stated earlier, I just haven’t been feeling it. I’ve talked to some of my closest friends and family members about this and they understand where I’m coming from. I’m not saying that I reached the mountain top of what I have to offer you. I look and see over 180 youtube videos I published, I got products sent to me from companies I had no clue that were watching. I even got to go to New York to be on television! God is great!!!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BYyal9in7vb/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BUX8VloD1Ze/

This blog has provided a lot for me. I’m just like NOW WHAT? I’ve done all of that but I’m not a full time blogger like I would want to be. I’ve seen people with less content with more subscribers. When you follow what the industry leaders in blogging/marketing say, and you still don’t see the results you want, it gets to you. I’m just being honest.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BYeLlN2nMqS/

I know my value, what I’m worth, and what I’ve offered, it just seems it’s not enough. The moment I feel it’s not enough, I go back to the drawing board to see what changes I need to make. I’d rather do that in private. I’m not sure when’s the next time I’ll post a video for this blog. The video I posted last week was the last one I had in the stash. I have to find a way to get my excitement back to do all of this. I’m not begging for shares. People share what they want. I just feel like people are just looking, looking, looking with no engagement unless it’s something negative. That’s the day and age social media has conditioned us to be. Please don’t take this post as being angry. That is not my intent.

NEW BLOG AND YOUTUBE CHANNEL
https://www.instagram.com/p/BRMLelxDMUw/
I can say through all of this, I have started a new project. A blog and youtube channel that will help my fellow uber drivers by sharing my tips and my experiences. I have the name for it, but I’ll keep that a secret. I may reveal it in my next post. I’m not sure when I’ll launch it but I’ll make sure I’ll keep you posted.

I LOVE YOU ALL
I thank you for your patience with me.

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